“You have exactly enough energy for one day at a time, remember that.”
I’m a member of a Club I never wanted to join. It’s a Club where you aren’t the apple of anyone’s eye; a Club where you are often empty, in spite of all the bits and pieces well meaning folks offer to fill the void. A Club where the number of photos is finite and you worry about the day you won’t have any new ones to share.
My fellow members and I will spend tomorrow avoiding Facebook. We’ll spend it with our families, but our hearts will be hurting. We’ll spend it avoiding restaurants populated by multigenerational families and ladies with freshly coiffed gray hair.
Besides my sister, I have three good friends who are members of the Club. One is comforted by the fact she now has babies of her own with which to share the day. One is raising her children (they are small) without their grandmother; she has already faced and came through harrowing days. My other friend is facing a battle no one in her situation should have to face…not once did I ever tell you life is fair. Life is not fair.
Regardless of the pain, we go on. We face the day. We hold our loved ones close. We are thankful for the times we had. We remember our last happy Mother’s Day. We are glad for those who aren’t in our Club; after all, we were once exactly where you stand…choosing the perfect card, pinning on a corsage, taking our Moms out to eat for Sunday dinner. We don’t begrudge you these things: we want you to enjoy her while she is here. Give her your time, give her your heart, give her your effort – she deserves it.
You will miss all of these things later. There is no replacement; believe me when I say no one will ever love you the way she does – it’s a one time deal. It’s the closest thing to God’s love and the most purely unconditional feeling you will ever experience if you are not a mother yourself.
Remember my Club tomorrow. We need your prayers and warm thoughts more than you know.